how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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