I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
