I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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