Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize