he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
