The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
