I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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