your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize