There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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