I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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