This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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