Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.