On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.