when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
