She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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