this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
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im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
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"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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