Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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