If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
