Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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