my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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