I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....