Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump