My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
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ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.