roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
