Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts