i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator