I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
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my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.