do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize