And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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