farters have to be the big spoon...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
