do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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