She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"