Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
