So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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