She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
