when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm passing your future prison.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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