hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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