Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
