I wish my penis had an off switch
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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