Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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