He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
