She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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