I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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