i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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