On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
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You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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