hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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