I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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