They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
