Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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