She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize