I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
