bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
