So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
