how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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