Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize